Hi there. My name is Frank. In-depth one-on-one ministry to men is what this website is encouraging you to do. Here are my recent posts. Please see the Contents page to learn what is here. Also, see the About Me and Mission pages.
Jan 02 2018
Permanent link to this article: https://edifymin.org/hi-there/
Jan 01 2018
He needs to talk. You need to listen. It is more fun for you that way too.
He needs to talk about 90% of the time. Most men seldom get to talk about his concerns, his hurts, and frustration. Often your most significant service is to just, actively listen to him. That is a profound ministry.
He needs to talk example
Not long ago I sat with a Christian brother for three hours in his apartment. He talked non-stop the whole time. He talked about family issues, personal economic issues, workplace issues, and more. All I did was look at him, nod on occasion, and make some hopefully well-placed sounds and non-words like Umm, ahh, ouch, etc. Well, there were a few words like “How is …?”, “What is your next step?” We did get some water to drink and relieve ourselves of the same. But that was it!
At that time he had to go to work. So I was getting ready to leave. Then he stopped and looked intently at me. “Thanks so much for listening!! I am feeling a lot better now.” Finally, with a long hug, we were both on our way.
My thoughts later that day included:
- He was sure thankful!
- I was not bored because I was always busy processing his issues.
- Nothing overtly spiritual had come up.
- But I am sure he knew I care about him and his issues.
- I am sure there was more on his mind or soul that he did not have time to say.
- He had not wanted to leave.
- Neither had I.
- He looks a lot more relaxed now.
- I felt satisfied.
Some things to notice
First, we had already developed a friendship relationship. He opened up because he knew he could trust me. That is to become transparent. Fully listening without any judgment or critique deepened that transparency. The more he shared, the more he felt free to share. Probably, he was sure I would not criticize him.
Second, my focus on him was undivided. Neither of us took phone calls or text messages. It would be even better if we turned our hand-held devices off. If had to look up something for him, I could power it on then. Better yet tell him what you remember and if necessary correct it later with a text message, email, or phone call.
Third, I felt great. My friend’s gratitude was my reward. Also rewarded by noticing the release of tension in his voice and body.
Build a friendship. As it matures, your friend with feel free to share his innermost thoughts, fears and feeling with you. As he shares, he will relax. Your listening helps him unscramble his thoughts and see his situation realistically. And you did not have to say anything!
Permanent link to this article: https://edifymin.org/he-needs-to-talk/
Permanent link to this article: https://edifymin.org/condemning-others/
Permanent link to this article: https://edifymin.org/1-thess-5-14/
Permanent link to this article: https://edifymin.org/romans-12-4-5/
Permanent link to this article: https://edifymin.org/do-not-brag/
Dec 14 2017
Knowing who to pick is easy.
You just reach out to someone. Let your heart draw you. It knows who to pick. Someone with whom you click. Let the Holy Spirit within you prompt you.
- Plus others in the Bible and my experience.
- Notice in the first three that the older man helps, the younger man.
I got picked when I was about 14.
I was in church with my mother some 20 miles from home. However, my father wanted to stay in the community instead of driving to the city. Soon after we started a man in the church introduced himself to my mother and me. That man invited me to attend a boys club meeting at the church. I loved being with that group. I would never miss a meeting. The best part was the whole-group huddle at the end. With arms around each other’s shoulders, we repeated a motto or “watchword.” That 10-second interaction signaled support and unity that was uplifting. I could not wait to get back to that group where I felt I belonged. And valued as a person. I continue in some way involved in ministry to other men. It all started about 60 years ago.
You find someone your heart draws you to and look for a way to do something together.
Permanent link to this article: https://edifymin.org/who-to-pick/
Permanent link to this article: https://edifymin.org/1-samuel-30-wicked-worthless-brothers/
Permanent link to this article: https://edifymin.org/call-them-brother/
Aug 21 2015
In Luke 15 the Pharisees despise Jesus because Jesus ate with sinners.
Jesus responds to this charge by telling three parables. (On this web site pointing to any Bible reference will give you a pop-up of the text.)
- The rejoicing shepherd (Luke 15:4-7)
- The rejoicing woman (Luke 15:8-10)
- The rejoicing father (Luke 15:11-32)
These titles come from the “punch line” of each parable. They are in Luke 15:6, 9, 32.
Jesus also gave spiritual applications for the first two. Notice Luke 15:7, 10. He did not need to do it for the last one. It was now obvious.
The parables explain why Jesus ate with sinners.
These parables seem off topic. They talk about a lost sheep, coin and son. These are but a vehicle to carry the main point. Jesus ate with sinners to find those who are lost from the Heavenly Father. When Jesus finds them the Heavenly Father rejoices.
Those who are lost fall into three categories:
- Those like the sheep who have innocently wandered away.
- Those like the coin who through neglect or mishandling are now lost.
- Those like the son who are in deliberate rebellion.
To find any of these requires being available to them. Out where they are not in some “holy huddle”.
- Finding the innocent wanderers requires listening to their cry of distress and returning them “home”.
- Finding the neglected or mishandled requires bringing light into their darkened world.
- Finding the rebellious requires being ready and watching for their return from the mess they now experience.
Jesus ate with sinners shouldn’t we?
We like to eat with holy people and be seen in their company. But are we willing to eat with sinners? Do we want our Heavenly Father to rejoice? Do we look like Jesus or a Pharisee? More importantly, do we have the Pharisees’ attitude or Jesus’ attitude toward sinners?
Permanent link to this article: https://edifymin.org/jesus-ate-with-sinners/