Facilitate his monologue on his emotions

The best way to edify a man is, most often,  to facilitate his monologue on his emotions.  Two years ago I wrote a post on the importance of having the other guy do all most all of the talking.  This post is more on how to encourage emotional expression.  

man leaning on tree during daytime. Who needs you to help facilitate his monologue on his emotions

A man who needs you to help facilitate his monologue on his emotions

The first thing getting him to start talking.  See  my post on that subject.  Facilitating his monologe absolutely requires deeply hearing what he is saying and making often non-verbal responses. 

Here are a few questions you can insert during short pauses in his monologe. Asking thoughtful questions in a wonderful way to take any discussion to a deeper level. Men usually have little trouble going deeper in to mechanical explainations, but are often almost mortally scared to go deeper about emotions. Asking questions that call for emotional feelings and expressions, signal him that you are free and open to these things.  It just may help him get the courage to share it with you. That will also help free him from his emotional lock-up. 

  1. How did you feel when [name] said that? or How did you feel when [name] did that? 
  2. How do you guess [name] felt when saying that? or How do you guess [name] felt when doing that? 
  3. How did you feel when you said that to  [name]? or How did you feel when you did that to/for [name]? 
  4. What emotion were you trying to convey when you said that? Had you thought about the emotional impact of what what you said to [name]? 

When you ask these kinds of question you help facilitate his monologue on his emotions. When we ask someone questions like this we need to think about the emotional impact that will have on him! This is very important. 

For more on emotional intelligence see this post by Eric Barker.  The book on which Eric bnased this blog post has an excellent chart of 100 different emotion words. It has four general categories.  I would post it here but that would be a copyright violation. You really might want to get the book to help both yourself and others expand emotional intelligence. 

About Frank

I am a Bible teacher with a passion for men's ministry. I prefer teaching through dialog. I believe any biblical discussion should reflect the context not only of the passage but also historical, geographical, and cultural backgrounds. I prefer interaction, as opposed to lectures. Along with incarnational (in person) teaching, I also post material to my web site blog, Edify Men (www.edify.men).
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